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Aug. 5th, 2007 10:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fasterthanthoughtSo today Giles was talking to Buffy about Lex Luthor and how to deal with him. It really sunk in how this niggling problem I've been having for the past few months with Impulse, which has gotten to the point where I feel like I have to say something because it's been affecting my play of him.
There are a lot of reasons for this, and it's not a blame deal except for myself if anything, as I know you guys are awesome OOCly and helpful! Most of this is just me being retarded over little things until it got to the point where it was unmanagable, but I've been uncomfortable playing Bart with YJ for a while now. I just feel like there's been a lot of changing of the dynamic and playing him against Kon and Tim the way he did seventh months prior just...feels off to me. Plus the way it happened has been rather nebulous since we've been missing a lot due to RL and other things. As a result I've been less enthusiastic about bringing him out and less confident in my voice regarding him in general but it's more obvious with related parties like YJ, Lady or Buffy.
Honestly I don't know what to do about it. I can't suggest anything because I don't know how you guys feel or if you noticed. I chalked it up to my neuroticism because it was little things, but the little things sort of continued and got to this point. I still love playing Impulse, like that thread I had earlier with TT!Robin and Virgil had no anxiety at all and it was lots of fun. But other cases it gets to the point where I don't feel comfortable playing. For example, there are a lot of reasons why I don't have fun when playing Bart with Boys' 15 or posts like the hot or not, so I won't jump them no matter how good a reason I would have for doing so. And that's not fair to anyone.
That's it really. I just felt like it had gotten to the point where you should be informed of my issues since it affects your characters. Especially if there might be upheaval with Luthor. I want to reiterate that you guys are fantastic people, but ICly I am finding it difficult to talk to you and I really don't know what else to do about it.
There are a lot of reasons for this, and it's not a blame deal except for myself if anything, as I know you guys are awesome OOCly and helpful! Most of this is just me being retarded over little things until it got to the point where it was unmanagable, but I've been uncomfortable playing Bart with YJ for a while now. I just feel like there's been a lot of changing of the dynamic and playing him against Kon and Tim the way he did seventh months prior just...feels off to me. Plus the way it happened has been rather nebulous since we've been missing a lot due to RL and other things. As a result I've been less enthusiastic about bringing him out and less confident in my voice regarding him in general but it's more obvious with related parties like YJ, Lady or Buffy.
Honestly I don't know what to do about it. I can't suggest anything because I don't know how you guys feel or if you noticed. I chalked it up to my neuroticism because it was little things, but the little things sort of continued and got to this point. I still love playing Impulse, like that thread I had earlier with TT!Robin and Virgil had no anxiety at all and it was lots of fun. But other cases it gets to the point where I don't feel comfortable playing. For example, there are a lot of reasons why I don't have fun when playing Bart with Boys' 15 or posts like the hot or not, so I won't jump them no matter how good a reason I would have for doing so. And that's not fair to anyone.
That's it really. I just felt like it had gotten to the point where you should be informed of my issues since it affects your characters. Especially if there might be upheaval with Luthor. I want to reiterate that you guys are fantastic people, but ICly I am finding it difficult to talk to you and I really don't know what else to do about it.
